Subject A bottle of white, a bottle of red, perhaps a bottle of "who cares" instead
DateCreated 6/5/2006 6:22:00 AM
PostedDate 6/5/2006 6:02:00 AM
Body

Torrential downpour that cancels outdoor ceremony:  Yes
Chicken Football:  Yes
Best Man weighs in at 230 lbs:  (More on him next post)

Although we have a huge songlist, we frequently have new songs to learn for a specific reception.  Everyone in the band is a quick study, so when the HC (Happy Couple) pick the "perfect" song for their first dance and it's not something on our approved songlist we can usually put together at least a one-off version for them.  Once in a while we get a song request from outer space - something no wedding band would ever do, or something completely inappropriate for a wedding.  Good example:  last year at Astor's Beechwood (a mansion in Newport, RI) the B requested AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long" as last dance.  Which was a blast, actually, and when I asked her how she decided on that song she told me, "It was my second choice, but I figured my mother wouldn't get the joke if I used 'Highway to Hell'.  Also, she would probably die."  At any rate, three-chord rock songs are no big deal, even if you have to scream like a hyena.
Billy Joel's "Scenes From An Italian Restaurant", however, is an operetta in comparison.  Five different sections, switching keys and instruments (sax player went from alto to clarinet to tenor to alto), vocal harmonies, and a knuckle-fracturing piano breakdown.  We worked on this thing FOR A MONTH, and as H would be quick to point out we've never worked on one of her songs for longer than it takes to play twice.  So.  It's dinner set, and we've been asked to hold this song to the end, for maximum effect.  We do a quick dedication, and then launch the blimp.  It was the best we've ever played it.  We did not come close to this at rehearsal.  I mean, any Billy Joel tribute act would have been semi-proud.  And then...

Nothing.

Silence.

Tumbleweeds.

Chairs dressed as people.

Worst of all, the G (who had insisted that we play it in the first place) didn't even look up from his salad.  Just sat there, fiddling with his cucumbers (so to speak.)  After all that work, a song we'll never use again does nothing at the event we learned it for.  It always seemed like an odd choice for a wedding, considering that in the lyric "Brenda and Eddie" are DIVORCED by the summer of '75.  Here's hoping that the G really does like the song, and wasn't using us to send a message.