Subject Everyone complains about the weather, but no one does anything about it
DateCreated 7/7/2006 4:55:00 AM
PostedDate 7/7/2006 4:36:00 AM

Number of weddings this weekend:  Three
Number of toasts: Seven
Number of high-end Country Clubs that charge a fortune for wedding receptions but feed the band Turkey Clubs (aka "Bandwiches") for dinner:  One
Number of Country Clubs with the initials RICC: One

Other areas of the country have weddings year-round, but New England is (as all inexplicably-angry conservative commentators would tell you) different.  Since the weather precludes winter weddings, our busy season is from April to November.  Some of the most spectacular coastline in the country is here and many couples plan their wedding to take advantage of the water view during the summer months.  They just have to hope that it won't rain - as do we, because we're lazy musicians and don't want to move equipment even on nice days.  We had three gigs this past weekend, all of which had some outdoor portion:
Friday night (Cape Cod) - a perfect night on the ocean at a brand-new resort.  Cocktails and dinner were served outside. 
Saturday night (Conanicut Island) -  a backyard wedding across the water from Newport.  It was a lobster boil, and we played under a huge tent.
Sunday afternoon (East Bay) - Outdoor ceremony.
Friday and Saturday were postcards but Sunday looked questionable, with clouds and showers in the forecast.  My duo was playing the ceremony and had some extensive PA gear to set up (in addition to our instruments), so we lined up volunteers to help us move our stuff if the rain started.  For speed's sake, btw, not completely out of laziness.  The storm blew over, but anyone that has experience sailing (that is to say, the majority of New Englanders other than me) would see the other problem immediately - what blows a storm past you is WIND, and if the storm goes over quickly then the wind is blowing HARD.  We had forty-mile-an-hour gusts screaming directly into the Rabbi's mic, and the bride kept losing her veil as we chased sheet music all over the yard. The wedding party had to hold on with both hands to the small canopy that they were under; I was waiting for them to take off into Narragansett Bay like a giant tuxedoed parasail.  Complicating matters was that the Rabbi suffered from Parkinson's Disease.  The poor man was holding onto his mic stand for dear life, trying to keep his hands from shaking while Hurricane Gloria II blew bits and pieces of Rhode Island into the Atlantic Ocean.  As I was packing up our stuff, a guest stopped me to say, "the music was lovely, but I couldn't get that movie out of my head.  You know, the one with Helen Hunt chasing tornadoes?"
Just for the record, the movie is called "Twister."  WE did not, however, have any airborne cows.