"um.  ok, so i guess it's my turn.  i just, y'know, i just wish i had more time.  i mean, i know joe was getting married today HAHAHAHA, it's just.  um.
"so i wrote a poem?  for joe.  and barbara HAHAHAHA i mean, y'know, her too.  it's just, wow, f*#^'n A.  all right, poem:

joe and barbara got married.
they were really really happy'd.
we tied tin cans to their trunk.
now lets all get. um.
wasted.

"like joes been there for me my whole life, y'know, it's like he's my brother or something.  i mean, he IS my brother but it's like... um. deep.  i remember the time we jumped out of the 2nd floor bathroom window.  JOE! REMEMBER?  actually, i don't, i kinda fell on my head.  i guess it was a big deal at the time or something.

"hey wow man barbara looks really hot.

"but anyway he's always looked out for me, i mean, except for that two years that we weren't really talking.  dude what was that about?  you kept saying s*#^ about 'being all irresponsible' and 'letting mom support me' and 'lethal overdose'.  like, c'mon man what a downer.  HAHAHAHAHA.  bad.  now here you are getting married and i'm the best man, up here making a toast HEY WHO CALLED THE COPS?  oh, sorry.  waiter.  tuxes freak me out, know what i mean?
"what?
"no, you SHUT UP COUSIN JIMMY YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL EVERYBODY ELSE WHAT TO DO!  you don't scare me man you're like nine years old or something.
"where was i?"  oh oh joe i wrote a song for you!

hey, joe, where you goin' with that ring a yours
hey, joe, where you goin' with that ring in your hand
i'm going down to shoot my old lady
i mean, marry my old lady
y'know i caught her messin' round' with another
i mean, i caught her marryin' another
i mean.  um.

"HAHAHAHA maybe i shoulda gone with the doors, like

doncha love her madly
wanna be her daddy
i mean, wanny be her husband
doncha love her as she's walkin' out the door

"i wish mom had been here to see this, that woulda been sweet.  oh, right, hi mom.  where's my drink?  open bar is like God's gift to fat bridesmaids.  oh oh oh oh wait til you see my wedding present.  it took my dealer two months to get HEY GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! I'M NOT DONE! WHATTYA DOIN I'M THE BEST MAN I'VE GOT LIKE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY...